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A should-statements tracker for the rule that shows up before the reasoning does

"I should already be over this" arrives as a rule, not a thought you chose. Mendly logs the moment a should, must, or ought shows up — one tap, no rewriting the standard required. Hourly patterns later show which situations reliably produce the rule, which is more useful than trying to argue with it in the moment.

The research

Albert Ellis's 'Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy' identified absolutist demands — shoulds, musts, oughts, directed at yourself, others, or the world — as the central mechanism behind unnecessary distress in his Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy framework, a concept he later called, half-jokingly, 'musturbation.' Mendly's tap-to-log tracks when the rule fires, not whether it's justified.

— Albert Ellis, 1962

Later folded into David Burns' distortion list as 'should statements,' 1980.

Want to understand why this happens? What is catastrophizing — and how to tell when you're doing it

Quiz

What's your 'should' pattern?

Question 1 of 4

Who do your 'should' statements usually target?

“A should statement is rarely really about the thing it claims to be about. It's a rule borrowed from somewhere — a parent, an old job, a competitive sibling — applied to a present situation that never agreed to it.”

Features

One-tap logging

One tap marks the thought — no typing, no prompts. The friction is so low it actually works mid-meeting, mid-walk, mid-spiral.

Voice notes

15 seconds to say what was actually going through your head. Optional, private, and yours.

Weekly reports

A gentle summary of your week. Not a grade — just a window into your patterns.

Not quite your pattern? A rumination tracker for when mindfulness hasn't stopped the loop might fit better

Apps like MindLift ask you to write a more flexible replacement for the should statement as you log it. If you already know the REBT framing and the shoulds still fire, the missing piece usually isn't a gentler rewrite — it's seeing which situations reliably produce the rule. Mendly tracks that instead.

See the full comparison

Common questions

Isn't having standards a good thing? How is this different from just being disciplined?
Mendly doesn't evaluate whether a standard is reasonable — it tracks when an absolutist 'should' or 'must' fires, regardless of whether the underlying goal is a good one. A high standard held flexibly and a should statement held rigidly can produce the same behavior with very different emotional costs.
Is this a CBT or REBT app?
No. There are no disputation exercises or rewritten-belief worksheets. Mendly logs when the pattern occurs and shows you the timing — a complement to REBT or CBT work with a therapist, not a version of it.
How is this different from the perfectionism tracker?
Perfectionism is the broader pattern of high self-imposed standards. Should statements are the specific linguistic form the internal rule takes — 'I should,' 'I must,' 'I ought to.' Many people find both useful together; this page is narrower and language-specific.
What does the free trial include?
The full app, no restrictions, for 7 days. After 7 days you choose monthly ($7.99) or annual ($59.99, about $5/month). Cancel anytime via your Apple subscriptions — no emails required.
A decision anxiety tracker for the choice that shouldn't take this longA catastrophizing tracker for when you know you're catastrophizing and can't stopWhat is mind reading (the cognitive distortion, not the party trick)?

See for yourself — 7 days free.

Try Mendly on iPhone. Cancel anytime via Apple subscriptions.

Download on theApp Store