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A shame spiral tracker for when it's not about what you did anymore

Guilt says you did something wrong. Shame says you are something wrong — and that shift is where a spiral actually starts. Mendly logs that exact turn on iPhone with one tap, no self-worth exercises required. Hourly patterns show when shame spirals fire and how long they typically run before easing.

The research

Psychologist June Tangney's research distinguishes guilt (focused on a specific behavior, tied to empathy) from shame (focused on the whole self, tied to anger and withdrawal) — and found shame-proneness, not guilt-proneness, predicts worse life outcomes over time. Mendly's tap-to-log is built to catch the exact moment a thought crosses from one category into the other.

— June Tangney, 2002

Want to understand why this happens? Why do I talk to myself negatively?

Quiz

What's your shame-spiral pattern?

Question 1 of 4

When a thought turns critical, what's it usually about?

“The mistake was never really the trigger. The trigger is the half-second translation from 'I did that' to 'that's who I am' — and that translation is a habit, not a fact, however certain it feels while it's running.”

Features

Shareable cards

Daily summary cards designed for Stories. Share a win without oversharing.

One-tap logging

One tap marks the thought — no typing, no prompts. The friction is so low it actually works mid-meeting, mid-walk, mid-spiral.

Milestone badges

16 badges that celebrate your awareness, not your perfection. First Catch, Streaks, Early Bird, Voice Found — each one earned.

Not quite your pattern? An overthinking tracker that shows your mind's pattern, not just its noise might fit better

Apps like MindLift offer CBT reframing focused on the thought's content. Shame research suggests the more useful move is often distinguishing the thought's category — behavior versus self — before reframing anything. Mendly logs the moment of that shift without asking you to argue with it yet.

See the full comparison

Common questions

What's the actual difference between logging shame and logging guilt?
You don't have to label which one it is to log it — Mendly doesn't ask you to categorize. But research suggests they behave differently: guilt tends to resolve once the specific behavior is addressed, while shame lingers around the self more broadly. Noticing which one a given spiral is can be useful information you gather over time, not something you're required to know at the moment you tap.
Won't marking a shame spiral make me focus on it more?
Most people find the opposite. A tap is a brief acknowledgment, not re-engagement with the content of the shame — it's closer to noting the spiral is active than restarting it.
Is this a therapy app?
No. Mendly isn't a clinical or trauma-informed intervention. It's a logging tool. If shame spirals are frequent or severe, a therapist is the more appropriate resource — Mendly can be a useful between-session record alongside that work.
What does the free trial include?
The full app, no restrictions, for 7 days. After 7 days you choose monthly ($7.99) or annual ($59.99, about $5/month). Cancel anytime via your Apple subscriptions — no emails required.
A mental filter tracker for the one bad detail that discolors the whole dayA self-sabotage thought tracker for the excuse you build before you've even triedHow to stop negative self-talk (and why "just stop" doesn't work)

See for yourself — 7 days free.

Try Mendly on iPhone. Cancel anytime via Apple subscriptions.

Download on theApp Store